Shopping—for many, it’s not just a chore; it’s an experience. The thrill of finding that perfect item, the joy of a good deal—it all adds to the delight. But let’s face it: for some of us, this seemingly innocent activity can spiral into something less enjoyable, even problematic.
Enter impulsive and compulsive buying, two challenges that can throw a curveball into our shopping game.
Let’s delve deeper into these two shopping dynamics.
Know the Lingo: Definitions
Impulsive buying happens when you snag something you weren’t planning to buy. You make a spontaneous decision to buy triggered by a tempting sale or an irresistible item. An impulsive buy is like that unexpected plot twist in a movie. It’s a heat-of-the-moment purchase where a few factors play a crucial role: your personality, your mood, and the degree of self-control available to you at a given time.
Compulsive buying is a different beast. It isn’t just about making an unplanned purchase; it’s fueled by an overpowering need to buy. Urges to shop exist on a spectrum. Occasional urges and those that can be overcome aren’t a cause for much concern. But when a pattern develops, where repetitive, irresistible urges lead to ongoing excessive buying behavior despite negative consequences, we’re entering the realm of compulsive buying disorder, also known as oniomania or shopping addiction. It’s a serious mental health condition where excessive buying takes a toll on well-being.
Spotting Parallels: Similarities between Impulsive and Compulsive Buying
Both impulsive buying and compulsive buying share a common thread—the flood of satisfying emotions that follow a purchase. Shopping can create pleasure by releasing dopamine and endorphins in the brain. You may know how it can be: the thrill, the excitement, and that brief period of joy.
Yet, other similarities between impulsive and compulsive buying aren’t as positive. They both involve a loss of control. The aftermath can include financial repercussions such as serious debt. And, both impulsive and compulsive buying can create a complex tapestry of emotions and a sense of regret.
Uncovering Contrasts: How Impulsive and Compulsive Buying Differ
Portraits of Populations: The Demographics of Problem Buying
Impulsive shopping shows up in different ways according to your gender, age, and educational level. A 2019 CNBC poll showed that men spend a bit more than women on impulse purchases, dispelling the stereotype about women being frivolous shoppers. Younger shoppers tend to do more impulsive shopping. A 2022 study reported that 41% of Generation Z customers fit this description, followed by 34% of Millennials and 32% of Generation X. Education matters too; college graduates are more inclined to make impulsive purchases than non-college grads.
Demographics are different for compulsive buyers. In a 2015 study, being young and female were associated with a higher incidence of compulsive buying. Compulsive buying begins early, often as soon as people are old enough to make their own spending decisions. Another study showed there’s no significant difference between compulsive buyers and other folks when it comes to their marital status, occupation, education, and social class.
What Drives Desires: Motivations Behind Buying Behaviors
Impulsive buying often dances to the tune of the moment. There’s an encounter with a fantastic sale or an irresistible item. Many times, this experience is sudden and unexpected. The motivation for buying is external and centered in the here-and-now.
As exciting as it may be to find a great buy, to an impulsive shopper, the item purchased is more important than the act of buying it.
The causes of compulsive buying are more wide-ranging and complex. Compulsive buying could be a response to stress, a way to boost self-esteem, or a means to seek validation and social approval. Emotions like loneliness and depression can contribute as well, and a history of trauma or abuse may play a role. Feelings of being out of control are common, as is a desire for comfort or personal satisfaction. It’s not uncommon for folks with compulsive buying behavior to have challenges with mood or impulse control in areas beyond buying. Their urge to buy is persistent, powerful, and irresistible, often driven by a desire to brighten their mood or soothe negative emotions. Compulsive buying is thought by some experts to be a behavioral addiction and to share some attributes with other behaviors like gambling disorder, compulsive internet use, and compulsive sexual behavior.
For folks with a compulsive desire to shop, the act of buying is more important than the item being purchased. In fact, some compulsive shoppers never open or use certain purchases.
Outcomes of Out-of-control Buying
Impulsive shoppers may stray beyond their budget, with consequences that range from negligible to serious. They may struggle with balancing the thrill of the purchase with their financial concerns, but the impact on their budget is manageable in many cases. One study reported heightened life satisfaction among impulsive buyers.
By contrast, compulsive buyers face a harsher reality—the real possibility of financial, legal, and life struggles, conflicts with family, work issues, and even hoarding. The overall toll of compulsive buying lower life satisfaction.
How Buyers Process Their Purchasing
After an impulsive purchase, a shopper might continue to feel satisfied with what they bought. Or, they may develop a sense of regret or dissatisfaction about the purchase. In either case, the focus tends to be on the purchase and not on the person who made it.
But a compulsive buyer is more likely to react with intense shame, guilt, and remorse, grappling with emotions that run deep. The aftermath of a shopping spree becomes a battleground of internal conflict and self-judgment. Sometimes compulsive buyers will hide bags, receipts, and other evidence of their shopping excursions.
To Return or Not To Return a Purchase
Impulsive spenders are often quick to return items they regret buying—a common-sense response to rectify a momentary lapse in judgment. Returning an item is a way of acknowledging the mistake, coupled with a practical solution.
Compulsive buyers face a more challenging dilemma when they purchase an item they don’t want or need. Because of the buyer’s emotional state before and during the purchase, the items become more than possessions; they may carry some personal significance. Returning them becomes an intricate dance between practicality and emotional connection.
Frequency of Buying: How Often Does Unplanned Shopping Happen?
For many folks, impulsive shopping is an occasional event, a sporadic occurrence in the grand scheme of life’s routines. It’s a fleeting detour from the norm.
Compulsive buying, in contrast, can become a frequent, even habitual, activity. It infiltrates daily life, becoming a persistent presence rather than a sporadic episode. The compulsive urge to buy tightens its grip, making it a challenging pattern to break.
Severity: The Impact on Life’s Landscape
Impulsive buying can lead to overspending, but the impact is often mild or moderate. Of course, there are exceptions—especially if an impulse purchase is a high-ticket item like a vehicle or a timeshare. But in general, the consequences are like ripples in a pond—noticeable but manageable. The financial impact of impulsive purchases may sting for a season, but life tends to find its equilibrium.
On the flip side, compulsive buying can have severe consequences, affecting various aspects of life. It’s like a snowball rolling downhill, gaining size and speed, causing more significant disruptions. The impact extends beyond finances, reaching into relationships, work, and overall well-being. It’s a journey into the heart of the storm, where the aftermath leaves a landscape altered by the force of compulsive spending.
Halting the Spending Spiral
It’s never too late to do something about a problematic buying pattern, whether it’s impulsive or compulsive in nature. Like other behaviors, it can be changed.
Still, it’s good to keep in mind that problematic buying is a complex process. It involves the networks, chemistry, and cognitive functions of the brain, as well as psychological, social, and cultural factors. So it may take some patience in finding out what combination of tactics is most effective.
Here’s a curated list of ideas drawn from a variety of disciplines and traditions. All offer something of value. If you’re dealing with problematic buying, or know someone who is, take what serves you.
- Increase self-awareness. Assessing your buying behavior sets the stage for control of your financial destiny, ensuring you can reach your goals.
- Understand the psychology of problematic spending and how it impacts well-being. Unraveling the quirks in the human money mindset helps you recognize common pitfalls.
- Identify your buying triggers and patterns. Knowing the unique culprits behind your spontaneous spending is key to banishing them.
- Create a compelling financial vision. You can find long-term clarity, motivation, and perspective through the power of a well-chosen long-term vision.
- Set financial goals. These make it much easier to say no to purchases that don’t bring you closer to where you really want to be.
- Distinguish needs versus wants. Keep the difference in mind, and find empowerment through awareness.
- Build an emergency fund. This account shields your finances, safeguards your financial well-being, and brings peace of mind.
- Become aware of the impact of consumerism. Redefining your identity beyond purchases and possessions makes it easier to spend consciously.
- Delay gratification. Holding off on purchases gives you time for evaluation, supports mindful decision-making, and allows you to align your spending with your goals.
- Know and choose alternative activities to shopping. There’s joy beyond a price tag. Discover the many other ways to savor moments.
- Find accountability. Seeking the help of others provides external support and perspectives, boosts your self-awareness, and supports wise financial choices.
- Expect and accept lapses in your progress. Slip-ups happen; growth persists. Long-term transformation means mastering the art of bouncing back.
- Spend mindfully. Make more conscious choices by being aware of your money behaviors and how they’re influenced by your feelings, values, and goals.
- Cultivate gratitude for what’s already in your life. Gratitude helps you appreciate what you already have, reducing the constant urge to purchase more.
- Celebrate your progress on a regular basis. Savor success through the ongoing celebration of your growth.
- Stay committed to your goals and financial progress. Continuing your wise spending habits year after year is key to your long-term financial well-being.
These are strategies for self-help, and they may be enough to reverse a problematic spending pattern. But in some cases, it may be best to partner with a professional in navigating this challenging situation.
Reclaiming Peace and Balance in Buying
Having an problematic buying pattern is challenging. Because of the taboo nature of talking about money, buying habits are especially isolating. And it’s natural to fear others’ judgment. Even if you have a supportive network, their advice may turn out to be unhelpful because there’s so much misunderstanding in this area.
It’s my wish that by discussing problematic buying here openly, I can make a little headway in changing things. It’s time to get the word out that buying issues are complex and multi-dimensional and can’t be managed through conventional advice to “just stop spending.”
I also want to offer hope that problematic buying is a state that can be avoided or overcome.
In my experience, the best way to do this is through a whole person approach. It’s based on a deep understanding of buying motivations, preferences, and behaviors and draws upon the wisdom of the mind, body, and spirit. This way helps folks create the sustainable lifestyle and supportive state of mind needed to find lasting empowerment over their buying and achieve true wealth—however they may choose to define it.
Resources
Spenders Anonymous is “a community of individuals sharing our experience, strength, and hope as we work toward clarity in our relationship with money” using a 12-step approach. The group offers in-person and phone meetings.
Debtors Anonymous. Problematic buying can lead to heavy debt. Debtors Anonymous offers support through literature and podcasts as well as face-to-face, phone, and in-person 12-step meetings.
Shopaholics Anonymous Facebook Group. This group has over 1,700 members. It’s billed as “a safe place to find support and get control of your spending habits” and “a judgement free zone where you can openly talk about your experiences and feelings without any negativity.”
For referral to treatment facilities, community-based organizations, and support groups, call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. This service supports folks facing mental and/or addiction disorders and their families.
Finally, please check out my free special report, 5 Things that Made Releasing My Spending Habit Take 5X as Long as It Should Have (no sign-up required). It’s the story of what my own spending behavior cost me and how I was able to come back stronger than ever—even if it took me a while to figure out how to make that happen. In the report I share the mental adjustments that liberated me from my problematic spending pattern. My goal in telling my story is to demystify the process, spark a micro-shift in perception, and share some tips readers can try right away.
Start or Join a Conversation
Many different perspectives on this problematic buying are possible, and I’d love you to share yours here. If you don’t already have one at the top of your mind, consider sharing your views on one of these questions:
- Have you ever caught yourself making a purchase on a whim? Share your most impulsive buying moment—we’ve all been there!
- Do you think problematic spending is a hidden struggle for many? Share your thoughts on how society views and addresses this issue.
- What’s your go-to strategy for resisting the temptation of impulsive purchases? Let’s swap tactics.
- Have you ever turned a buying mishap into a life lesson? Share your story and inspire others on their journey.
- In a world of constant advertisements and marketing messages, how do you navigate the fine line between treating yourself and falling into a problematic buying trap? Let’s talk about maintaining balance in a consumer-driven culture.
Do you have a question that wasn’t addressed in the post? Comment below, and I’ll do my best to answer.
And don’t forget to subscribe to our free newsletter to get updates about whole person finance.
Notice
This post is for educational purposes only and is not legal, financial, psychological, or any other type of professional advice. You should consult your own attorney, financial advisor, health provider, or counseling professional concerning any issues in these areas of expertise.
Please understand that facts and views change over time. Posts reflect the author’s understanding at the time of writing, as well as the perspectives of external sources for this post. While maintained for your information, archived posts may not reflect current conditions.
Photo Credits
1 freestocks
2 Rosebox
3 Clem Onojehuo